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Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. - Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre and that I am therefore excused from saving universes. - Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy: part III: Life, The Universe and Everything

Of all my relations I like sex the best, and Eric the least. - Nine Princes in Amber, by Roger Zelazny

Reality continues to ruin my life. - Calvin and Hobbes

Shared Pain is Lessened, shared Joy increased, thereby do we refute Entropy... - Michael Callahan, Callahan's Crosstime Saloon by Spider Robinson

So we reach into the raging chaos, and we pluck some small glittering thing, and we cling to it, and tell ourselves it has meaning, and that the world is good, and we are not evil and we will all go home in the end." - Lestat, Tale of the Body Thief by Anne Rice

Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying. - Terry Pratchett, The Color Of Magic

Still, it was a relief to get away from that macabre sight. Gander considered that gnolls didn't look any better inside than out. He hated their guts. - Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

That's cool, said Zaphod. We'll meet the meat. - Zaphod Beetlebrox, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

The butler entered the room, a solemn procession of one. - P.G. Wodehouse

The eyes are purjors, right enough. But do you truly trust the testimony of your ears, of your nose, of the root of your tongue? Not I, my friend. The universe lies to our senses, and they lie to us, and how can we ourselves be anything but liars? For myself, I trust neither the message nor the messenger neither what I am told, nor what I see. There may be truth somewhere, but it never gets down to me. But, you never know. I could be wrong. - Peter Beagle, 'The Last Unicorn'

The most common mistake people make when designing something completely foolproof, is underestimating the ingenuity of complete fools. - Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars. - Jack Kerouac, On the Road

The reason I'm having so much trouble flying this ship is because it's black. The walls are black, the floor is black, the console is black, the switches are black, the labels are little black letters printed on a black background, and when you press anything, a black light lights up in black to tell you you've done it.' Ford Prefect - Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The structure of the university was such that, to become a member of the faculty, you merely found some obscure subject that nobody else claimed to teach, set up an office, and showed up at meal times. If you were unlucky, you may attract students. - Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

The thing I want to know is, if you tell your brain not to do stuff like that and it keeps doing it anyway, does that mean your mind has a mind of its own? And if it does, then who's in charge here, anyway? -Jed, Armageddon Summer (Yolen)

The vermine is a small black and white relative of the lemming, found in the cold Hublandish regions. Its skin is rare and highly valued, especially by the vermine itself the selfish little bastard will do anything rather than let go of it. - Discworld wildlife, Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues. - Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures.

There is no room in my body for anything but you. My arms love you, my knees shake with blind affection. My mind begs you to ask it something so it can obey. - Buttercup from The Princess Bride by William Goldman

There is no such thing as good guys and bad guys, just them and us. - Belgarath, David and Leigh Eddings

They may have been ugly. They may have been evil. But when it came to poetry-in-motion, the Things had all the grace and coordination of a desk-chair. - Terry Pratchett

Thibbledwarf Pwent meant to train a group of dwarves in the not-so-subtle art of battleraging, his personal Gutbuster Brigade, highly motivated, skilled in frenzy, and not to smart. Another dwarf hit the barricaded door, probably head-first, and Drizzt understood how Pwent meant to facilitate the third of his requirements for his soldiers. -R.A. Salvator, Forgotten Realms

This book is dedicated to my brilliant and beautiful wife without whom I would be nothing. She always comforts and consoles, never complains or interferes, asks nothing, and endures all. She also writes my dedications. - Albert Malvino

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Ford Prefect, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

To paraphrase Oedipus, Hamlet, Lear, and all those guys, "I wish I had known this some time ago." - Corwin, Sign of the Unicorn

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