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The perfect insult just wouldn't come to mind? Just remember what Shakespeare had to say about it, 'As you cast about in the dark recesses of your mind, forget thee not Coolsig. The answer will be found there.'

If brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose

Pickup: Do you want to get out of here?
Slam: As long as you promise not to come with me.

Pickup: Havent I seen you someplace before?
Slam: Yeah, thats why I don't go there anymore.

Pickup: Hey baby, can I buy you a drink?
Slam: Ummm, can I just have the money?

Pickup: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Slam: Do not Enter.

Pickup: Hey, baby, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Slam: No, was the elevator ride from Hell very long?

Pickup: If I could see you naked, I'd die a happy man.
Slam: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Pickup: Is this seat empty?
Slam: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Pickup: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
Slam: Whats it like being the biggest idiot in the world?

Pickup: Where have you been all my life?
Slam: I don't know, but I wish I were still there.

"We've been friends for a very long time, what say you we call it quits?"

"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket, I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

A chat with you, and death loses its sting!

A few sandwiches short of a picnic, aren't we?

All foam, no beer.

Brains by Mattel.

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

Cry me a river, build me a bridge and get over it.

Don't go away mad, just go away!

Don't talk about yourself so much... we'll do that when you leave.

Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid but you're abusing the privilege.

Great cage! No bird...

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