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Age doesn't matter, right?

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, ...it doesn't matter. - Mark Twain

Age only matters if you're cheese.

Cultivate an interest in the classics: seduce a senior citizen tonight.

Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway... The good fortune to run into the ones I do... And the eyesight to tell the difference!

He who laughs, lasts.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? - Satchel Paige

I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

I've gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my glasses.

If I had known my grandchildren would be so much fun I would have had them first!

If I knew I was going to get this old, I would have taken better care of myself when I was young.

If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places.

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like. - Jackie Mason

Middle age is when you burn the midnight oil around 9:00 pm.

My grandson asked me if I still look at young women, I said yes, but I can't remember why.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.

Old is when your friends compliment you on your alligator shoes, and you are bare-foot.

The golden years: When actions creak louder than words.

There's nothing wrong with the younger generation that twenty years or so won't cure.

When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?

When I was a kid, all we had to do was just sit around and hope somebody would invent television so we could play Nintendo.

When I was young, we didn't have MTV. We had to take drugs and go to rock concerts.



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