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Don't know what that word means? Don't reach for your dictionary... check out Coolsig's definitions first. 'they're not correct, but they're fun'

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Beezlebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting an IRS refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.

Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Hozone: The area over by 6th street.

Karmageddon: It's, like, when everybody is sending off all those really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.

Fortissimoe: The musical moment produced when someone serially slaps the faces of the first violin section.

Depression: anger without enthusiasm.

Directions: That useless little piece of paper, containing incomprehensible language, usually written in Spanish and Japanese, that one refers to, only after botching the construction of the over-priced and (also usually) useless item that one found so necessary to own, only that very morning.

2,000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds

A cynic is just a man who found out when he was about ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still upset. - James Gould Cozzens

Acting: The art of keeping the audience from coughing.

Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

Aibohphobia: The fear of palindromes

Air bags: Inflation we can live with.

Alarm clock: A device to wake people without small kids.

Alchoholic: One who, when is confronted with a small problem, turns to a bigger one.

Alibi: proof that you were in two places at once.

Aloha Oy: Love, greetings and farewell from such a pain you should never know.

Aquadextrious - The art of turning the bathtub tap on with your toes.

Atheism: A non-prophet organization.

Atheist: Someone with no invisible means of support.

Auditor: A person sent in after the battle to stab the wounded


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