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As seen on walls around the world. I've included only stuff I thought was in reasonably good taste, but you may still be offended. Such is life 8-)

Seen written on the USA TODAY newspaper despenser outside of the University of Oklahoma Cafeteria when there are papers in the despenser: USA TODAY (written underneath) Tomarrow the World!

Poster above Urinal: Please stay closer as your little Johnny is not as big as you think.

(Left Wall) For toilet tennis, look right. (Right Wall) For toilet tennis, look left.

(seen on a restaurant) GUYS: No shirt, no service GALS: No shirt, no charge.

As seen above a urinal: What are you looking up here for? The real joke is in your hands.

At this moment, you are the only man in the Army who knows what he is doing - Gents Lavatory, Aldershot Barracks UK

Breakfast in New York, Lunch in Paris. - and scrawled below the American Airlines poster: Baggage in Hong Kong.

Don't read this you fool, Watch what you're doing! - Gents Lavatory - London

E=mc2. - Written underneath it: Very nice, Albert. Next time show your work.

Fire torpedo 1! Fire torpedo 2! Fire torpedo 3! ... (one saying above each toilet in a movie theatre restroom)

God, my hands are cold! - Scrawled at the top of a Superman poster, in a 'thought bubble' above his head.

If you think our waiters are rude, you should see our manager. (On a cafe wall in Bristol.)

In a military men's room: Notice: In case of an air attack, duck under the urinals. Nobody ever hits them.

In a pub in Southern California, there is a mirror right above the urinal in the bathroom. The sign above the mirror reads: 'Objects in the mirror are smaller than they appear'

In case of emergency, pull handle. (written above a public toilet in New York City)

Instructions on a blowdryer in a mens room-- "1) Push button. 2) Rub hands briskly under nozzel. 3) Dryer shuts off automatically." Scratched underneath "4) Wipe hands on pants."

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. (written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Arizona.)

Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married! - Women's restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.

My mother made me a lesbian. - Written below that: If I give her the yarn, will she make me one, too? - On the bathroom wall of the Infinity Bar in Miamisburg, Ohio 1979

Note on condom machine: 'These condoms built to British standards.' underneath, 'Yeah, and so was the Titanic'

On a menu in Miller's Landing in Galveston, Texas: "If the food were any fresher, you'd have to slap it!"

Please do not complain about the coffee. You'll be old and weak someday, too!

Please do not throw your cigarette butts on the ground, the turtles crawl out of the ponds and smoke them and we are trying to get them to quit. (seen next to a turtle pond on Paradise Island)

Please don't throw your butts in the urinal. It makes them soggy and hard to light. (written in bar bathroom in Memphis, TN)


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