Aaron's favourite Sigs: 
  
When you're swimming in the creek, And an eel bites your cheek, That's a moray!      - Fabulous Furry Freak Bros. 
 
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. 
 
Microsoft Windows:  Proof that P.T. Barnum was correct.           
  
It will be a great day when our schools have all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a new bomber. 
 
"Foosh.  Aaughh!!"     "Foosh.  Aauuggghh!!"     - Cold spray deodorant.... 
  
Laundry instructions on a shirt made by HEET:   For best results, wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good results, 
drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack. 
  
These opinions are mine, not those of the University of Virginia.   It is the opinion of the University that I should be writing my dissertation. 
  
The statement below is true.  The statement above is false. 
 
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other.   Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."       - Katharine Hepburn 
    
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other. 
 
 
Kevin's Favourites Sigs: 
 
"Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind - boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it."            - Gene Spafford,1992 

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 

When G-d was creating the human race, he lined up all the males on one side and all the females opposite.  Then he asked, "Which of your species would like to urinate standing up?"  Well, the males went crazy, shouting that they wanted to pee standing up.  "Fine", says G-d, "Women get multiple orgasms." 

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.      - Harlan Ellison 

A good pun is it's own reword. 

If G-d is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining. 

"Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States."          - J. Bartlett Brebner
 

Teun's Favourites Sigs: 

On a posted sign: Bill Stickers will be prosecuted! The graffiti next to it: Bill Stickers is innocent!

Not the brightest crayon in the box, now are we?

Here's a Quarter, call somebody who cares.

I think, therefore, I am... not related to you.

Follow your dream!  Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. - I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit. - the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.

 

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