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You'd think speaking would be easy, wouldn't you? We've all been doing it for years. Well it ain't. We get our mords wixed up all the time... Now you can offer your friends' verbal slip-ups to the world. Dedicated to your verbal blunders, great and small. My brother, my mom and I were talking about the new Harry Potter movie. We were talking about when we were going to see it and my little brother said, quite seriously, 'What time does the 1 o'clock movie start?' My cousin and I were out playing in the backyard at my grandma's house. At dinner time, she wanted to call us, but she couldn't remember who was out there so she ran through all her siblings names, all her children and in-laws, then our brothers, sisters and cousins before giving up and screaming, "I don't care who you are, just get in here now." My cousin, about age 5 at the time, was riding along with my grandparents and my mother. Everytime they passed some cows, she would point them out and say, 'Look at the cows.' After awhile, she hadn't seen any cows and asked, 'Where are the cows?' My grandfather responded, 'There are no more damn cows.' Well, later on they passed some more cows and my cousin pointed and said, 'Look grandpa, there's some more damn cows!' My daughter said this referring to 'retired' Beanie Babies after receiving a Beanie Baby as a gift from my mom: 'Thanks Grandma, is this one of the extinct ones?' My little brother. One night about 9 yrs. ago, we were in the car on our way home from somewhere. I asked, 'What time is it?' Not hearing my mom's response, I asked again. She said, 'Andrea, eight o'clock.' My little brother, very seriously, asked, 'Andrea ate a clock?' My niece who is four years old told her mother ,after having a bath one day, that her hair was, 'So damn soft.' thinking that she meant damp or something the mother asked, ' What does that mean?' the girl replied, 'Ya know, really really soft.' The mother then had to tell the girl to sit there while she left the room so that she could laugh out loud. My ten year old son came to me and asked, "You know when they say I tried every trick in the book?" I nodded and he finished the question, "What's the book called and where can I buy it?" My ten year old son wanted to know why he was too young to watch the movie 'Silence of the Lambs' but, confused over the title of the film, asked me, "Why won't you let me watch the movie 'Quiet Sheep'?" Occasionally I think about doing something to change my situation, but where am I going to get hold of a Stealth bomber? - Daria On Women at the Beach (and the watching thereof): It's alright to look, as long as you don't think. - Colin (Savage's brother the puritan) One day, I was thinking about applying for a job at the library, so I discussed it with my family at dinner. My little sister said, "Well, if you get a job there, then you can get books for free!" This came from a local news station in Michigan. A big snowstorm had been predicted the previous evening, forecasting seven or eight inches of snow, but, as is often the case in Michigan, the meteorologists were wrong, and there was no storm at all. The female news anchor turned to the head weatherman and asked, 'So, Bob, what happened to that eight inches you promised me last night?' The station had to take five minutes because everyone was laughing so hard. We took my nephew (age 12) along to see a live presentation of 'Seven Brides For Seven Brothers.He said, 'It was pretty good except for all that singing and dancing and stuff.' When my son had a cold and was coughing badly, I asked him if he felt it was time to take his cough syrup and his reply was 'No thanks, I can cough just fine without it.' When my son was very young I gave him a boysenberry yogurt. As I was eating mine he asked if I was eating girlsenberry yogurt. - A mom You can't expect me to choose a boyfriend right away, that would be like eating the first pancake off the stove. You have to feed one to the dog. - Quinn Go to page previous 1 2 3 The folks who created Coolsig want to help you stop procrastinating and get more done in much less time. Sign up below and we'll send you our Free Report right away. |
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