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No matter where you live, no matter what you do, some of these things are always true.

The great thing about living in a small town is when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.

The Lawyer's Creed: "A man is innocent until proven broke."

The meaning of life is to give life meaning.

The trouble with doing something right the first time, is nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

The trouble with learning from experience is that the test comes first and the lesson afterwards.

The trouble with life is, you're half way through it before you realize it's a 'do it yourself' thing.

The world doesn't just disappear when you close your eyes, does it?

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and their mother's real age.

They say the grass is greener on the other side, but have you ever flipped it over?

Those who complain about the way the ball bounces, are usually the same ones who dropped it.

Time flies... after you hit the snooze button.

To err is human, to forgive... unlikely.

Viewer discretion may be advised, but it's never really expected.

We can never see ourselves as others see us. Even the mirror shows us in reverse.

We have to belive in free will. We have no choice.

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over. - Ambrose Bierce

Well behaved women rarely make history.

When confronted with a knock at the door, a stupid man will complain about all the noise, a normal man will answer it, a smart man will look through the peephole and the wise man won't hear it because he's having sex.

Whoever said there is no such thing as a stupid question has never worked in customer service.

You can tell the quality of a person by how they treat people they don't need.

You can't tell a book by its movie.

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