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Battle of the Sexes! Man vs. Woman, Mars vs. Venus

Behind every good man is a woman... kicking his butt. - 'Titus'

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

Boys are great, every girl should own one.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher... and that is a good thing for any man. - Socrates

By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is Infinite, undying - Lady make note of this: One of you is lying. - Dorothy Parker 'Unfortunate Coincidence'

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

Coffee, chocolate and men, some things are just better rich.

For sale: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. (Got married last weekend, wife knows everything).

Don't be sexist. Broads hate that.

Don't bother getting married - just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.

First, God created man. Then he had a better idea.

For every girl with a curve there are several men with angles.

Girls are called birds because of the worms they pick up!

Girls will be girls, boys will be toys.

Give a man a beer, he'll waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, he'll waste a lifetime.

Grow your own Dope. Plant a man.

Here's to the men that we love, and here's to the men that love us, But the men that we love, Aren't the men that love us, So to hell with the men. Here's to us!

How do you know that a man has done something wrong? For once he does everything right. - Stephanie Di Cioccio

I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

I have always wondered why men never or seldom help women work in the kitchen, but when it comes to cooking with a barbecue outdoors, men quickly grab the opportunity. Then it hit me - Men are less evolved.

I haven't found Mr. Right, but I have found Mr. Cheap, Mr. Sleazy and Mr. Wrong.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

I married Miss Right, I just didn't know her first name was Always!

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli

I once stole a car from a man who stole my wife, but the car don't run. I guess that makes us even.

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