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It is my fondest hope that you are reading these while you should be working.   Isn't that what the net's really about anyways?   Sort of a place to go 'researching' while you should be getting stuff done!

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.

Every time I think I've hit the bottom, someone lends me a shovel.

Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.

Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like a slacker.

God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why give it a chance?

Hard work spotlights the character of people; some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all!

I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.

I don't mind the rat race but I could do with a little more cheese.

I have no axe to grind, but I have an ivory letter opener that could use some sharpening.

I love my work, I could sit and watch it all day long.

I love the "swooshing" sound deadlines make as they go by.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

I've got to get back to work. When I stop rowing, the slave ship just goes in circles.

If at first you don't succeed, give up. No use being a damn fool.

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

If you're the low man on the totem pole, just remember that if it wasn't for you the damn thing would fall over.

Illegitmitatum Non Carborundum Est - Never let the bastards grind you down!

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they pissed me off.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

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