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There you are, sitting in the computer lab, probably working on a term paper, when it suddenly dawns on you that you haven't changed your signature file in four days! Fear not, Scholar!

If you read a dictionary, you'll be really smart. If you eat a dictionary, you'll be really full.

In a large auditorium at university, the lecturer began by saying, 'If you can't hear me up at the back, put your hands up.' A row of hands went up...

Information was delivered like a ruptured fire hose - spraying in all directions with no way to stop it! - Comment on a class survey.

It has been said that the primary function of schools is to impart enough facts to make children stop asking questions. Some, with whom the schools do not succeed, become scientists. - Knut Schmidt-Nielson

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. - Albert Einstein

My first-level Russian professor, whenever the previous class would run too long: 'We must liberate the room in the name of the people.'

Prof Rule #1: Never turn the lights out in a lecture hall with students near the door.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. - Mark Twain

These opinions are mine, not those of the University of Virginia. It is the opinion of the University that I should be writing my dissertation.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Universities are places of knowledge. The freshman each bring a little in with them, and the seniors take none away, so it accumulates.


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