Have you ever been talking to someone, and they say something especially keen, such as, 'Yeah, no problem, I live 5 minutes from home' (A verbatim quotation from Coolsig staff Kevin Savage). There's really no correct response, the most appropriate being, 'No thanks, I've already got a penguin.'
On the back of Midol, it says 'do not take if you have painful urination due to enlarged prostates.' Well I'll be darned!- Jessica W.
One bright day, in the middle of the night, two dead boys stood up to fight. Back to back, they faced each other. Drew their swords, and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the sound, and put those boys back in the ground. If you don't believe this lie is true, ask Harry the blind man, he saw it, too.
Over and over I find being redundant is key to success in the art of redundancy - Jay Armstrong
Sanity is not my strong point. -Pelican Bob
So what if the undead and zombie walk slow? They'll catch up eventually.
Therapy is expensive but bubble wrap is free.
There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman. - Groundskeeper Willie
This is the nineties, you don't just go around punching people. You have to say something cool first.
When I'm feeling down, I like to eat a bucket of fried chicken in front of a Jenny Craig Outlet.
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