When your own wording just won't cut it. Your tongue cleaves to your pallette, and your hands start sweating... You need Quotes from Coolsig! Sage signatures from those in the know...
I love scandals about other people, but scandals about myself don't interest me. They have got no charm of novelty. - Oscar Wilde
I only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. - Scott Adams
I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce. - J. Edgar Hoover
I've been in Take That and the Spice Girls... Well, not all of them. (Robbie Williams)
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. - Dave Barry
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it. - W.C. Fields
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? - Will Rogers
Into every life a little rain must fall, but I think someone's mistaken me for Noah. - Allison Raul
Lady Astor: "If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea."
Winston Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I'd drink it!"
Life is like a box of chocolates...a cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, and the taste is fleeting. So you end up with broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a...is an empty box...filled with useless, brown paper wrappers. - 'Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man,' The X-Files
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. - John Lennon
Loyalty isn't standing by someone when he's right... that's good judgement. Loyalty is standing by someone when he's wrong. - Susan Estrich
Memory isn't the facts, it's just a record you keep to yourself. With the facts, memory is useless. - Guy Pearce in Memento
Millions yearn for immorality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. - Susan Ertz
Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence. - Napoleon Bonaparte
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move. - David Letterman
Oh, well. She's dead. Let's move on, shall we? - Willy Wonka
Putting the 10 commandments up to prevent crime is like putting 'Employees must wash hands' up to keep the piss out of your burger. - John Stewart
Reader, suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself. - Mark Twain
Sincerity is the key. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - George Burns
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. - Woody Allen
There is a very fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. - Oscar Levant
There is luck in chess. My opponent was lucky that he was playing against an idiot. - Jim Loy
There won't be anything we won't say to people to try and convince them that our way is the way to go. - Bill Gates
There's a lot we should be able to learn from history. And yet history proves that we never do. In fact, the main lesson of history is that we never learn the lessons of history. This makes us look so stupid that few people care to read it. They'd rather not be reminded. Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's very embarrassing. - A. Whitney Brown, The Big Picture
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