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The perfect insult just wouldn't come to mind? Just remember what Shakespeare had to say about it, 'As you cast about in the dark recesses of your mind, forget thee not Coolsig. The answer will be found there.'

Guy: Did the gates of heaven open up? Because I think I see an Angel. Girl: Did the Zoo gates open up? Because I think I see a gorilla.

Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you had had enough oxygen at birth?

He gave her a piece of his mind, and couldn't get by on what was left.

He's about as subtle as a chainsaw, but lacking the social grace.

He's as sharp as a beach ball.

He's says he lives by his wits. He's half right...

He's such a loser, he still parties like it's 1999.

Her best friend once sent her a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said: Wish you were here.

Hey, I don't know if you're aware but, there are these two things you can put together and use everyday to make people around you smile... they're called, SOAP AND WATER!

His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

His brain rattles around his head like a pea in a boxcar.

His elevator doesn't go to the top.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

I heard you had an idea once, but it died of loneliness.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. - Groucho Marx

I read your mind, and trust me, it was a short story...

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

I think, therefore, I am... not related to you.

I would engage you in a battle of wits but I refuse to duel with an unarmed person.

I wouldn't go out into the sunlight if i were you, for fear your shadow would run away as soon as it noticed that YOU were the one whom it was attached to.

I'd be happy to help you out. What way did you come in?

I'd say he's the laziest guy alive but I'm not sure about that last part.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

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