One liners. Lot's of 'em. 'nuff said.
What goes 'clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop, BANG'? An Amish drive-by shooting.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
What's the greatest world-wide use of cowhide? To hold cows together.
What's the height of conceit? Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy - When planets do it we say they are orbiting.
When you're swimming in the creek, And an eel bites your cheek, That's a moray! - Fabulous Furry Freak Bros
Why am I frowning? It takes 42 muscles to frown and only 17 to smile and I need the exercise!
Why be difficult? Put some effort in and be impossible.
Why is it best to use the outhouse at noon? That's when the flies are in the kitchen.
Why not have your cake and eat it too - it's cake, what else are you going to do with it?
Wouldn't it be great if age and gravity did to a penis what it does to boobs? -Bob Jones
Write your questions down on the back of a $20 dollar bill and send them to me.
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
You say tomato, I say ketchup.
You're just jealous because my cereal only talks to me.
ZenCrafters: Total Enlightenment in about an hour.
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