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One liners. Lot's of 'em. 'nuff said.

My greatest fear in life is that no-one will remember me after I'm dead. - some dead guy

Necrophelia means never having to say... well, anything!

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run (he hates that)

Never miss a good chance to shut up. - Will Rogers

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn't try it on!

Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it. - Tallulah Bankhead

Oh Lord give me patience... NOW!

Only one shopping day left until tomorrow!

Only Users Lose Drugs...

Opportunity knock only once, if you hear a second knock it's probally a Jehovah's witness.

People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of them being made.

Possesive???Me?? Nah, I was just sick the day they discussed sharing in Kindergarten

Promises are like babies: fun to make, but hell to deliver.

Refuse Novocain... Transcend Dental Medication.

Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are ok, you're it.

So you say money doesn't motivate you. What does? I'll buy it for you!

Spotted on the back of a T-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: If you see me running, try to keep up.

Statistics are like bikinis. What they conceal is more important than what they reveal.

Streakers beware: Your end is in sight!

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Sure, when... - OINK FLAP OINK FLAP - Well I'll be darned!

SUSHIDO: The way of the Tuna.

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in our living rooms.

The American Heart and Lung Association surveyed doctors and found that 9 out of 10 doctors who tried Camels went back to women.

The BEST part of waking up? Hitting the snooze button and going back to sleep.


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