One liners. Lot's of 'em. 'nuff said.
Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? - John Mendoza
Every 10 seconds, somewhere on this earth, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
Federal Expresso: When you absolutely, positively have to stay up all night.
For people who like peace and quiet - a phoneless cord.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
Forest fires only lead to Smokey Bear - prevent them!
Get your mind out of the gutter! Grab mine while you're there, please.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up? Definitely optional.
Guests who kill their talk show hosts. On the last Donahue.
He said he was dying of fast women, slow horses, crooked cards and straight whisky.
Help stamp out and abolish redundancy!
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Help, I've fallen and I can't... Hey, nice carpet!
Here at First National, you're not just a number - you're two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash, and another number.
Here's a secret tip for X-files fans: Drink two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place with all recollections of the previous nights events mysteriously "erased".
Hermits have no peer pressure.
I am diagonally parked between two parallel universes!
I before E except after C. We live in a weird society!
I don't see what all the fuss is about, if those dolphins were so smart, they wouldn't hang out with tuna.
I doubt therefore I might be.
I guess surrealism's not your cup of tuna.
I hate the country, all those animals walking around un-cooked.
I have spent most of my money on women and beer. The rest I just wasted...
I keep trying to lose weight but it always finds me.
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