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Don't know what that word means? Don't reach for your dictionary... check out Coolsig's definitions first. 'they're not correct, but they're fun'

Australian Rules Football: A game devised for padded cells, played in the open air.

Automobile: A mechanical device that runs up hills and down people.

Baby-sitter: A teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

Bachelor: One who treats all women as sequels.

Bad Driver: Someone who thinks it normal to carry an assortment of colours of touch up paint in their glove box. (My Father in-law!)

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

blechgck-a sound of utter blahness for the task at hand.

Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money.

Budget: A method for going broke methodically.

Budget: Something we go without to stay within.

Camel: A horse designed by a committee.

Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they're dead.

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper, fire at one end, fool at the other.

Civilization: Going from shoeless toes to toeless shoes.

Classic: A book that everybody wants to have read, and nobody wants to read.

College: The place where you have three options--to sleep, to study, or to party - but only get to pick two per semester.

Committee: A cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.

Committee: A group of people that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

Committee: The unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.

Confidence: the feeling a person has before he fully understands the situation.

Conscience: That part of the psyche that dissolves in alcohol.

Conscience: The inner voice that warns us somebody is looking. - H. L. Mencken

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Cynic: Someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Death: Life's way of saying: You can let go of your ankles now.

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