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Battle of the Sexes! Man vs. Woman, Mars vs. Venus

Never appeal to a man's 'better nature.' He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage. - Lazarus Long

Never chase after a man or a train - another one will always come along.

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy. - Henry Kissinger

Notice to Thieves: This car is like my husband - not worth stealing.

P.M.S. Putting up with menís shit!

Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards, and in high heels.

So many men, so few who can afford me...

Some say a computer is a woman, if you do something wrong, they'll remember every bit of it. Some say a computer is a man, if you had just waited one more week, you could have gotten a better model for less.

Sometimes I think that if there were a third sex, men wouldn't get so much as a glance from me.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. - Katharine Hepburn

Star light, star bright, where the freak is Mr. right?

Sure, a woman can fake an orgasm, but it takes a man to fake a whole relationship.

Tell a man there are a billion stars in the sky and he will believe you. Tell him there is wet paint on the bench and he will have to touch it to be sure.

The average woman prefers beauty over brains because the average man can see better than he can think.

The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys.

The difference between men and women is that women are complex and men are simple. It took me a while to figure this out. I kept asking my husband if he thought he could do this or that, to no avail. Then I figured out what the problem was: every sentence started with 'Do you think'!

The difference between women and men is that women love their children. They know everything about them, including birthdays, allergies, likes and dislikes. Men are vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. - Dave Barry

The female mind is a lot like the tax code. It's impossible to understand, and its only function seems to be taking from you.

The more I learn about guys, the more I wish I were gay.

The perfect man: smokes not, drinks not, flirts not, exists not.

The smartest thing a man can say starts with, 'My wife says...'

There are easier things in life than finding a good man... like nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

What's the difference between your husband and your children? Your children grow-up and leave

When a woman works in a traditionally male field ...She must be twice as knowledgeable, twice as proficient, twice as accurate, and twice as humble as any man to be considered half as good at the job!


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