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Turn to Coolsig for the best advice on the net. Always!

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

It's a small world, so you gotta use your elbows a lot.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

It's better to give than to lend, and it costs about the same.

It's nice to be important, but more important to be nice.

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. -Voltaire

Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows. -Helen Keller

Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds you down or polishes you up, depends upon what you're made of.

Life is an open door. It can be closed at any time, so don't complain about the draught.

Live life to the fullest... think of all the people on the Titanic who passed up chocolate dessert.

Live simply so that others may simply live... -Gandhi

Never argue with a man carrying a water buffalo.

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut or a salesman if his is a good price.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Never buy anything that has a handle, eats, needs painting, or has babies.

Never eat more than you can lift. -Miss Piggy

Never go to a plastic surgeon whose waiting room is full of Picassos.

Never lick a self-adhesive stamp.

Never mess up an apology with an excuse.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.

Never say 'OOPS!' Always say 'Ah, Interesting!'

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Never weed wack poison ivy in the nude.

Never, ever make absolute, unconditional statements.

No varnish can hide the grain of the wood and the more varnish you put on, the more the grain will express itself. -Charles Dickens


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