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Turn to Coolsig for the best advice on the net. Always!

Don't believe everything you think.

Don't go to a doctor whose office plants have died. -Erma Bombeck

Don't let yesterday take up to much of today.

Don't mark the spot where you bury the hatchet.

Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents. - William Coronel

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

Drink varnish and you'll get a lovely finish.

Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

Eat your spinach and you'll grow up big and strong like Popeye. You'll also end up with a girlfriend that looks like Olive Oyl.

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. -Oscar Wilde, 1856-1900

Endeavour to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. - Mark Twain

Find the key to yourself and every door in the world is open to you.

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness -Audrey Hepburn

Found on a Speed Racer T-shirt: Machine Wash Cold Your 100% Cotton Silk-Screened T-shirt. Tumble dry low, clean your room, and don't stay out past 11:00 without calling.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

Grab life by the balls until it coughs up all it has to offer.-Suzie

Growl all day and you'll be dog tired at night.

Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough. -Josh Billings

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a water gun and shoot other people in the eyes.

If life gives you lemons, stick them down your shirt and make your boobs look bigger.

If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.

If someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and whack them in the head.

If someone shows you who they are, believe them.

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